Finding comfort in solitude: Navigating college life as a freshman
According to the National Student Clearinghouse, 13.6 percent of students won't return for a second semester. I’m a freshman myself, and I get it.
Now, I’m not dropping out. I truly do love it here, but it's different.
I grew up in a house with seven other people: my mom, dad, two brothers, sister, great-aunt, and grandma. Easy to say, I was never really alone—at least never for long.
College brought on this homesickness I didn’t know I could feel. I mean, I did summer camps where I went no contact for two weeks, and I was fine.
But even with having unlimited contact with my family, I still feel disconnected. I miss them more than I thought I would, and that has been a challenge for me. I have never felt more alone in my life while also accomplishing so much.
As a freshman, I already have an internship, write for a magazine, do news broadcasts, and work on the media team for our D1 athletics. I think it’s amazing how quickly I was able to get involved. I’m already a weekly anchor for HPU Vision, I’m learning behind the scenes for sports games, and I work on-site writing recaps for some of our athletics.
But even with all that, I’m still alone all the time.
I have some friends, but it’s hard to build new connections when you just left people you knew for years. I’m also from the Midwest, and it has become clear to me that that is a minority group here.
It’s not even hard to meet people; I meet someone new almost every day. It’s just hard taking the next step into pursuing something more than a one-off conversation. You have to be the one to reach out and say, “Hey, do you wanna grab lunch?”
The thing is, I’m not lonely—I’m just alone more than I ever have been. Being lonely would mean I’m sad and not happy here, but I am happy. I'm so happy and proud of myself for accomplishing so many things in such a short period of time. I’m just experiencing most of it by myself for the first time in my life.
Going from living with seven other people who were always around and who always showed up to everything I was in, to a roommate and two suitemates who aren't always around is a huge change. But it’s not a bad change.
I like my classes, my schedule, and the people I hang out with. I’m just not eating with someone every meal, all my friends aren’t in the same clubs as me, and when I come back to my room, my sister’s not there waiting for me.
I’m just not used to being by myself this much. It's taken some getting used to, but it’s the norm now. I even find myself enjoying time alone and coming back to an empty dorm room.
There are points where I do feel lonely, but if you ever feel that way too, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. I mean, there are over 6,000 students here and so many lovely faculty members that would love to chat.
So far, the hardest part about freshman year is living life alone. But through that, I have learned how to manage my time, who I am without my family around me, and who I want to become.
So being alone isn't really that bad; it's just different.
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