Shoes are a girl's best friend

I guess shoes are a girl’s best friend, but I never thought I would be left holding the shoes of my late, dear friend. 

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I walked into a chapel in Thomasville, North Carolina, and was greeted with hugs and smiles from my friend’s family. The small chapel was filled with flowers of every color, and I distinctly smelled the sweet scent of red roses. 

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There was my friend, the bride, Nadalie Norman, in her sparkly white wedding dress and slippers. She had refused the high heels I had suggested. 

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This was not the day she had dreamed of—the day she was supposed to say “I do” to the love of her life. 

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This was her funeral. 

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 **** 

 

For those who do not know, Nadalie was supposed to be Nadalie Norman Flynt. She had recently become engaged to her fiancé, Asa Flynt, in July and was scheduled to be married Nov. 1, 2025. 

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Nadalie and Asa shared a beautiful, devoted relationship and they put God at the center. 

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Asa stood beside her in his tuxedo, tan and white, the suit Nadalie had chosen for her groom. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and gave him the biggest hug I could. He was 24; she was 20. 

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Asa was the person God had planned for her life. They did not get to spend forever together, but she got every moment with him—and I am so glad she did. 

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All day, my mind went back to our last conversation. 

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“I hope you find someone who treats you right, Marissa,” Nadalie said. 

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Watching Nadalie and Asa together inspired me to seek a love that treats me with the same care and respect. 

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I never got to tell her I did. 

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Instead of standing and saying the wedding vows, she was lying in her powder pink casket.

 

 **** 

 

A few days later, I got a call from High Point University pastor Preston Davis, asking if I could speak about Nadalie at a memorial service Thursday, Oct. 23, in front of university staff and her family. 

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I froze like a deer in headlights. I had never been tasked with anything like this. I felt it was on my heart to address the university alongside Nido Qubein, president of High Point University. 

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I had no idea where to start or what to say. I wanted to tell my friend’s story the right way, one last time. If Nadalie were here, she would know what to say. She always found the right words for any situation. 

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Nadalie was a junior and psychology major. She had a gift for helping people through both good and tough times. 

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As I wrote and erased, I thought, “Nadalie, what are you trying to tell me now? What do you want me to say?” 

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 **** 

 

When I walked into Hayworth Chapel, I hugged her mom, Shaneena, her fiancé Asa and her best friend Maggie. 

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I sat in the reserved section and thought, “We should be sitting together. We should be sitting together at church or after-church brunch.” 

Instead of preparing a speech for her wedding, I was speaking to her one last time.I looked at my mom, who was sitting three rows behind me. She smiled, and I waved. 

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Next to me, a man in a business suit walked in and sat down. He had a beaming smile and gray hair. Nido Qubein chatted with me about my late friend. Out of excitement, I reached for my phone to text Nadalie, then realized she would not answer. 

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Pastor Davis called my name to the podium. I glanced around and saw her family in the front row, her friends, faculty, staff and many unfamiliar faces. 

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I took a deep breath and began my eulogy. The room was so quiet I could hear the echo of my own voice through the microphone and her grieving mother wailing. 

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I thought back on all the memories I had shared with Nadalie. 

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I spoke from my heart.

 

 **** 

 

Nadalie and I met freshman year at HPU through her best friend Maggie. She was my across-the-hall neighbor. We bonded over our love of taking naps. Once I met her, we immediately clicked and became best friends. 

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She was the perfect mix—bright, beautiful, smart, thoughtful, loving and the funniest girl I have ever met. 

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I told stories about Nadalie and looked at her mom to see her laughing and smiling through tears. 

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Nadalie always gave the best advice whenever I called or texted. My favorite piece of advice she ever gave me was: “Find a guy with good hair; think of your children.” 

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Her mom squeezed Asa’s hand, and everyone chuckled. 

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I looked at Nadalie’s mom, who I bonded with over our love of high heels. I wanted to tell her how much Nadalie loved her and how glad she was to have her as a mom. 

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I looked at my mom in the audience. Tears fell down my face, landing on my notes on the podium. 

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I regained my composure. 

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 **** 

I shared Nadalie’s testimony. She loved Jesus and sharing his word. Her heart was so close to him. That is what I loved most about her. 

Jesus was her entire world. Now she gets to run into his arms forever and ever. 

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As my sister in Christ, I knew she would want me to say this: “If you do not know Jesus and have not accepted Christ into your heart, true love is found through Jesus Christ by forming a relationship with him forever. Jesus loves you and would love to have you as part of our family with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.” 

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Jesus is the way, and boy, did his love shine through her. 

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God sent me a friend and a sister in Christ because he knew I needed someone like her. 

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I looked everyone in the eyes and heard quiet sobs from the pews. I hoped that maybe one person could give their life to Christ for Nadalie.

 

 **** 

 

I finished my speech and ran out of words to thank her for everything she had done in my life, even in the short time I knew her. I know she’s gone, but I cannot wait to hug her again in heaven. 

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I sat next to Nido Qubein, a widely known motivational speaker. He looked at me and said, “That was the best speech I have ever heard—the most heartfelt one I have heard in a long time.” 

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All the adrenaline and nervousness left my body. I just wanted to see my friend. I ran into my mother’s arms and gave her a hug. My body fell limp. I started wailing. The strong façade I had been wearing and my smile fell. I was crying because it was over. 

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People came up to me and said it was the best eulogy they had ever heard. I just wanted to honor my friend and share the kind of girl she was. 

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Her mom came up and said, “Thank you, high heel twin.” 

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I sobbed in her arms. 

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 **** 

 

After the service, Nadalie’s mom called to say she had left a gift for me. She asked me to bring my mom to the Office of Student Life on the third floor of the Slane Student Center. 

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I rushed immediately to the office. They handed me a light pink box of white strappy platform heels, size 7, that had never been worn. 

I was told Shaneena wanted to give me Nadalie’s wedding shoes. I dropped the box, fell to the floor and sobbed hysterically. It was so like Shaneena and Nadalie to give me a gift like this. 

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It was the most heartfelt gift I have ever received. I was speechless. 

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My mom picked me up off the floor. I pulled the heels out of the box, my hand running over the leather. She was supposed to wear them in exactly one week. 

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I went back to my room and set the shoes on my shelf. I stared at the only thing I had left of my sweet friend: a pair of high heels in a light pink box. 

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Then my phone rang. It was Shaneena. 

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“Nadalie never got to wear these on her special day, but I hope you can wear them on your special day,” she said.

 

I knew then and there that the right pair of shoes really are a girl’s best friend.